The Fertility Fairytale

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Ova who had spent years trying to get pregnant. Every day she would wake up to her fertility chart, pee on an ovulation test (and get some pee on her hand too), do fertility meditation, practice fertility yoga, go to her fertility appointment to get poked, lubed, and prodded, go to work, take a really expensive nap at lunch (fertility acupuncture), go home, look on her friends posts and get anxious that she is behind in life, read the comments in her online fertility support groups and get depressed, pray to multiple saints, angels, God, statues, gnomes, and flowers that have been known to create fertility miracles, have sex with her partner and think, “What’s the point,” and go to bed.

Her relationships with her friends and family were changing. She was changing too. She had always been happy and cheerful, and now she was sad and more introverted to avoid the pain of everyday life without the family that she was supposed to have by now.

She had an amazing partner who wanted to support her but just didn't know exactly how. Both were stuck and sad.

One night after her gluten and dairy free dinner and a lot of wine (don’t judge, she is not pregnant yet), while searching online for answers to her fertility mystery, she sighed and said, “Why is this so hard for me? All of my friends get to bang it out and accidentally get pregnant. Why can’t that be me too?”

A voice said, “Because you're special.”

She suddenly regretted that last glass of wine.

She put down her phone and saw that a tiny fairy was floating in front of her.

“Hi! My name is Tasha Blasi, and I'm your Fertility Godmother.

The fairy had brown hair, brown eyes, a fantastic body with no cellulite, and looked unusually young for her age (Oh, come on. You would add this too if you were writing your own fairytale.)

She continued, "I have been watching you struggle, but had to wait until you asked me for help with your journey to appear. Now that you did, I can show you something."

A tiny book appeared. Tasha opened it and said, "Here is your specific formula that will show you how to get pregnant quickly.”

Ova was suspicious, “How can you know what I need to get pregnant? I use the best fertility doctors in the country and have already done everything there is to do. There is nothing left to try. I'm just broken.”

The fairy had heard this many times. She smiled and said, “You're not broken. You're just misdirected. I have the secret to a better, easier, and kinder way to go through IVF. The path that I will create for you will cost you less time, money, and energy and will dramatically improve your mental health. I will be there with you the entire time so you can’t make any more mistakes. If you are ready to meet your baby, just take my hand, and we can get started. But I warn you; this will be a fast process. You must be certain that you are ready to have a baby now.”

Ova was thrilled to hear this news and said, “Are you kidding? I was ready years ago. Let’s do this!”

Ova and her Fertility Godmother started working together. The first thing that Tasha did was to remove all of the stuff from Ova’s fertility journey that was a waste of her time, money, mental health, and energy.

Next, she showed her the few fundamental changes would propel her fertility journey forward.

Within a few weeks of the program, Ova was not just back to her old self; she was happier than before she started the journey.

Ova could feel the changes too. Suddenly, she was excited to meet her friend’s new baby. And getting told, “Relax and you will get pregnant,” made her giggle. She even started giving random pregnant women she passed on the street high-fives.

She had her life back, her relationships were improved, and her pregnancy was in clear view.

Ova got pregnant quickly and stayed pregnant.

With tears in her eyes, Ova hugged her Fertility Godmother and said, "Thank you Fertility Godmother. I wouldn't be pregnant without you."

Her Fertility Godmother hugged her and said, "You might have gotten here eventually, it's uncertain. What is certain, however, is that you would have continued to waste a #*&@ load of your time, energy, and money if you did this without me."

The End.