I started working with this woman who told me how fertility bloggers make her feel worse about her fertility issues because when she joins, the blogger and she are on the fertility journey together. When the blogger gets pregnant, it's like the blogger betrays her.
I understood why she would feel that way, but I also knew that this smart, strong, successful woman needed a different way to think of her own life and gifts.
You know the saying, if everyone put all of their problems in a pile, you would choose to take yours back.
It might be hard to imagine that you want to keep your fertility problems when it costs you so much of your time, money, energy, and mental health while most spend nothing (physically, mentally, financially) and are accidentally successful.
So, let’s think of this a different way. What if everyone put all of their gifts in a pile. I am guessing that you would choose to take yours back.
When I was going through my ten rounds of IVF, I never wanted to be anyone else.
Other than wishing I could experience the, “I feel sick...I must have the stomach bug...oh my gosh, no, I'm pregnant!!!” I was never jealous of anyone else’s fertility journey because that was their gift and I was not willing to trade in any of mine.
So, when you feel envious of someone's gift of fertility, write down all of your many gifts (there should be dozens or else you are not trying hard enough) and send love and thanks to the things that you have been granted, or have worked a long time to get.
There is nothing to envy about anyone else because you are amazing and you will get your child soon. And, as I always say, your child will be so much better and cuter than your friends. I haven't been wrong yet.
Sending you thanks & love,