“Change what you can and accept what you can’t.” - Episode 22 (5:57 - 6:02)
The four-step process to emotional freedom.
This was the topic for my latest episode of the FU Project podcast. You can listen here.
Are you held down by your feelings? Stressed and anxious day in and day out on your fertility journey?
As it just so happens, my older sister can help.
Rosa Blasi has premiered in over 300 episodes of television and film over a 25-year career in Hollywood. However, the beloved actress has more than just incredible acting talent and good looks going for her, with a Masters Degree in Clinical Psychology and a specialization in addiction recovery.
Learning the proper skills to handle your default emotional responses will free you from years of a negative narrative!
“It’s important to remember that feelings are temporary and they are not facts.”
- Episode 22 (18:50 - 18:56)
One of the foundational teachings of Buddhism states that the fastest way to suffering is an attachment to the outcome. How could you possibly detach from the outcome of your next round of IVF, you ask?
The concept to accept what we can’t control may feel impossible. The good news is there are so many factors you can control on your fertility journey - diet, exercise, sleep, and most importantly, your feelings!
The four-step process to regain power over your emotional well-being.
Acknowledge your negative narrative. List 5 things about yourself that make you a piece of shit. Yikes! Now list 5 things about yourself that are powerful and positive that make you feel proud. Are you stumped? Why? Humans have a generally negative narrative. We tell ourselves stories, that we believe as fact, about who we are. But they are not facts. They are lies based on feelings that damage our self-esteem.
Stop playing the comparison game. One of the greatest encouragements to low self-esteem is our comparison climate. Say goodbye to social media! It’s a dangerous platform that exacerbates anxiety and intensifies negative narratives. Remember that your fertility journey is your own. Remove yourself from the comparison game to remove that feeling of “less than.”
Recognize your feelings are not facts. All of these feelings aren’t facts. They’re just feelings. However, when you sit on feelings long enough you strengthen the neurotransmitters connecting these feelings in your brain. The brain begins to believe they are facts. The facts create lies. The lies make up a strong negative narrative. You have the power to re-route those feelings and thoughts and choose a different response.
Separate yourself from your thoughts with grounding techniques. When you can’t get out of your own way, distract yourself from yourself. Try out one of Rosa’s recommendations from her list of 50 ways. Or download a guided meditation app to slow everything down. If none of those work and you fear a panic attack, ground yourself with the 3-3-3 exercise. Identify three things that you see, hear, and physically feel. Box breathing will also do the trick as you slowly count your inhales and exhales.
“It’s up to us to alter the stories of our lives, to change the narrative. But like anything else worth getting, it’s hard to do and takes practice.” - Episode 22 (12:30 - 12:39)
Self-awareness doesn’t blossom overnight! It takes practice to change your narrative into a positive one.
You’re going to fail at first. That’s okay.
Work through the four-step process and shed your default emotional responses and addictions to stress and anxiety. Remember to start small with what you can change. Then accept what you can’t.
Place the rest in the universe’s hands as you sing out your intention. An answer will come soon enough.
With thanks & love,
How to get involved
If you would like more information about The FU Project and my mission to get you pregnant so much faster and smarter than I did, please check out my website.
If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a quick review on iTunes. It would mean the world to hear your feedback and we’d love for you to help us spread the word. There are so many women suffering in silence that could use this help and support.