EP 6: The Only Four Things Keeping You from Getting Pregnant

“There is not one pillar more important than the others...they are all equally 25% to make it 100% possible for you to hold your baby so much sooner.” -Episode 6 (19:38 - 20:04)

The four pillars of a successful pregnancy.

Wherever you are in your fertility journey, do not lose hope. Successful conception is possible. My two children are living beautiful proof after many failed treatments and let downs. Most doctors and mothers-to-be tend to place all of their hope in the science of fertility and become frustrated when it lets them down time after time. The truth is, there are four potential factors that are inhibiting you from getting or staying pregnant: science, environment, mindset, and support. Each pillar holds equal weight and bringing them all into alignment, and tearing down any red flag that stands in the way, is the most effective way for you to get to that goal - finally holding that precious baby in your arms.

“Doctors are human. They don’t know everything and have been educated in different ways. It’s not okay if you feel there is something else to be done and they’re just saying, “Just try again.”- Episode 6 (6:06 - 6:22)

Science. There are so many variables that lie within this pillar. The doctor, embryologist, lab, and drug protocols all play a part in helping you get and stay pregnant.

While undergoing IVF, and looking for red flags in this pillar, it is so important to assess the results of your second egg retrieval. For example, if you experience no success in your first egg retrieval procedure, then return for a second attempt where the results are worse than before, you are not to blame. In most cases, the second round should be better than the first. Three tries are too many even if the lab is the “best of the best.” If this is the case for you it may be time to change clinics.

Every medical facility has a set of rules and a standard protocol to follow. However, there is always a possibility that these promised and proven methods can be mishandled or flawed. When examining the factors that may be keeping you from getting or staying pregnant, it is important to consider whether or not your doctor and the lab live up to their reputation.

To determine the effectiveness of your doctor, calculate the difference between how many eggs were retrieved versus how many were mature.

To determine the effectiveness of the lab, calculate the difference between the mature eggs and the number of eggs that were fertilized.

If either of these figures shows an alarming contrast, this is a blazing red flag.

Another variable in the science pillar is the drug protocol implemented for the transfer. When nothing is sticking, and you’re experiencing multiple miscarriages, consider your doctor’s reaction. If they aren’t making new recommendations, it’s time to speak up! Be your own advocate and refuse to just “try again” if you feel there is something more or different to explore.

Proper Environment. The second pillar to successful conception is a proper environment. Consider how you feel in the middle of your workday at three o’clock in the afternoon. Do you feel happy and energized to complete the rest of your tasks? Alternatively, do you feel tired and ready to take a nap? If you gravitate towards the latter, you may need to revise and transform your daily habits to create a more wholesome environment.

Our environment is comprised of both emotional and physical wellbeing. When either of these is filled with clutter, our hormones can be dramatically affected. Symptoms of emotional clutter include detrimental bouts of anger, anxiety, stress, or feeling less than. Symptoms of physical clutter include lack of sleep, dips in energy, and irritable bowel movements. Inflammation and the inability to lose weight also indicate that something is getting in your way. Thankfully all of these are controllable factors. Even those with low egg reserve should take comfort in the fact that making small changes can make a difference. Forget the misconception that a woman needs three months to alter her results of egg retrieval. Start to take tangible steps now to declutter and ignite change.

Mindset. Mindset is the most important and third pillar to successful conception. The advice to “just relax” is highly overrated. Plenty of crazy women get pregnant regularly! Your stress, anxiety, or career-focused mindset is not to blame for your inability to get pregnant. However, it is imperative to learn how to problem solve and deal with stress now before your baby arrives. If you think things feel crazy and out of control now, wait until you are holding that crying baby at 2 am. It would be best if you have a firm handle on yourself, emotions, and environment. Prioritize this pillar above all others. Gain control over the mindset to naturally balance hormones, reduce inflammation, and dictate your feelings.

“The women that just don’t think about it and jump in are the ones that soar.” - Episode 6 (14:42 - 14:48)

Support. Lastly, every woman needs credible guidance and inspiring support to move towards pregnancy actively. No woman should walk alone. Aim to surround yourself with individuals who know what it feels like to go through similar experiences. Remember that the word wellness includes “we” while illness includes only “I.”

To thwart chaos, reach out for clear direction. Do not, I repeat do not, type all of your questions and fears into Google. Online search results guarantee confusion by offering thousands of conflicting opinions. Instead, seek expert help who will identify the one aspect you need to focus on to move forward in your journey. There is no need to be overwhelmed by lists.

Jump into a community of like-minded women who are not just complaining, but offering their successes and failures to provide insight and encouragement. A group element connection is proven to provide a biological advantage. Two like-minded particles combined will grow. Like dissolves like and develops into something more beautiful. Strive to surround yourself with amazing women who vibrate love, but stay cautious in reserving the necessary amount of energy for your journey.

Examine where red flags are popping up in your infertility journey to tackle whatever is holding you back. You may not notice a difference overnight. However, stay persistent in harmonizing all four pillars to conceive and welcome your baby into the world successfully. Never give up.

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