“IVF is not an imprisonment, but a choice we get to make to help our family dreams come true.” - Episode 7 (2:36)
IVF and its requirements can feel really restrictive. Fix your mindset to let yourself off the hook.
This was the topic for my latest episode of the FU Project podcast.
It's amazing how much IVF has in common with a prison sentence - at least on paper. The fact is, far too many women who are on a tough fertility journey think of their IVF treatments, and the lifestyle they require, as a stint behind bars.
Before we go any further I want to let you know. It's not. Not even a little bit.
“It’s not foundational work to help balance your hormones. It's about being a better problem-solver.” - Episode 7 (15:37)
But if you're feeling trapped in IVF jail, there are three simple keys for opening up the door and getting free:
That jail cell is not your worst nightmare. It's what's going to make your dreams come true.
Too often, I hear women talk about how they “have” to do IVF and all that accompanies the process. Good news! You don't have to do IVF. You get to do IVF.
If you're feeling imprisoned, stop feeling sorry for yourself and be thankful these treatments exist, and that you can access them. There are plenty of women in the world who can't do so. Yes, IVF takes a lot of T.I.M.E. - that's Time, Investment, Mental Health, and Energy - but the benefit far outweighs the cost.
Understanding that you're not a prisoner of your lifestyle means figuring out how your lifestyle can support your happiness and your efforts to be a great mom - before your baby shows up.
There's no lock on the door.
Nothing is keeping you in your jail cell. You don't have to get rid of the food, drinks, and activities you love for the length of your fertility journey. All you really need to do is rein it in a little for the few weeks leading up to an egg retrieval and the same before a transfer. That's it.
Beyond that, it's all about targeted de-cluttering. If a habit isn't directly interfering with your efforts to get pregnant or your well-being, go for it. Live your life like a responsible adult, and indulge on special occasions.
You can start with quick wins to make you feel like yourself - like a glass of wine or a cup of coffee - and then do the foundational mindset work to be a better problem-solver before baby arrives.
“The past is the heaviest clutter to carry around. True freedom comes from seeing every mistake as a lesson.” - Episode 7 (24:10)
Look at your past as an expensive, valuable education that made you wiser today.
Anyone who hasn't done training aimed at mindset work or decluttering typically gets caught up on two different questions. Why did I allow that, when I know better, and why do things like this keep happening to me? The healthiest way of looking at your past starts with the understanding that there are no mistakes, unless you're stuck in those decisions and unable to move forward.
Think of those “mistakes” as lessons instead. As with every education, there is a cost, but the higher the cost, the better the education. Everyone does the best they can with the education and consciousness they have at the time. You should never blame yourself for making a decision in the past based on what you knew then. You are in a new season of life, armed with new knowledge, to make new decisions.
You're in control of your life as you go through IVF, and freeing yourself from the fertility fail cell is as simple as opening the door, and remembering that true freedom comes from seeing your past as a lesson.