EP10: Overcome Fertility Envy

“I promise you, you don’t want anyone else’s fertility journey.” - Episode 10 (3:27 - 3:30)

You are blessed and will be blessed with many gifts.

This was the topic for my latest episode of the FU Project podcast. You can listen here.

Have you ever felt extremely jealous of another friend’s fertility journey? You’re not alone. Just about every one of my clients has too. In fact, the majority of my time is spent encouraging women to not focus on what they don’t have and give thanks for what they do have. This is no easy feat. Life doesn’t always seem so abundant especially if you’re waiting on the edge of that pregnancy seat. Envy darkens attention and clouds honest discernment. The truth is, you are blessed. To overcome fertility envy, it is important to recognize and give thanks for the many gifts you currently have and will receive. You have a choice to remain miserable in your envy, or to be empowered with the joy found in gratitude.

“Those that have big wins in life tend to have a much harder time with the struggles that come later on. And they always come later on.”

- Episode 10 (2:37 - 2:39)

Choose an attitude of gratitude. Life is filled with turbulence guaranteed to toss us around. It’s just how it is. Persevere anyway and strive to keep your eyes open. If you’re too focused on what other women have, then you’ll lose sight and miss out on what you currently have.

Here are three reasons to celebrate your fertility journey and not be green with envy.

1. Another woman’s baby is not your gift. That baby was meant for that woman and not you. Just you wait. When the time is right, your perfect baby will come!

2. Your kids will be way cuter. Is an explanation really necessary?

I didn’t think so.

3.  Your partner is smoking hot. If you were on someone else’s fertility journey, then you would have an entirely different partner. I don’t know about you, but I’m not willing to switch my foxy husband for someone else’s to have a baby. No thank you!

As I proceeded through an ultimate low of 10 rounds of IVF, I reflected on these three reasons while I envisioned holding my baby in my arms. I never wanted to trade my fertility journey with anyone else. I never wanted to forfeit the gifts in my possession and the gifts in my future. You have gifts written with your name on them. Can you see them? Or is envy blocking you?

“Unfortunately some people cannot think clearly with all of the clutter that has built up from their past and current fertility journey to see all the beautiful gifts that they have right in front of them.”

- Episode 10 (4:45 - 5:00)

A snap of the fingers won’t do the trick. If you’ve been in this green funk for a while, then you really need to sit down and begin decluttering your mind to open your eyes. Try the “Who Am I” exercise. Write down a list of 50 (yes 50!) gifts you’re extremely proud of. They could include physical feats, past achievements or acts of service you provided that encouraged others. Eventually, you’ll reach the aha! moment of “Oh my gosh, I’m really awesome! Who knew?” I knew! As do your loved ones and friends. Ask them to participate and write out their own list of 50 gifts they celebrate in and with you.

Take these lists to bed with you and read them before you sleep. Allow your subconscious to repeat, “Yes, I’m awesome!” over and over again to encourage an optimistic attitude. Then just before you close your eyes and drift away, give thanks to the source of your many gifts and the gifts yet to come. Your guardian angels will continue to guide you forward through the highs and lows and lead you to exactly what you want and where you need to be. Don’t make their job any harder by steaming green and pushing for someone else’s path! Stay the course. Your perfect baby is down the way.

With thanks & love,


How to get involved
If you would like more information about The FU Project and my mission to get you pregnant so much faster and smarter than I did, please check out my website.

If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a quick review on iTunes. It would mean the world to hear your feedback and we’d love for you to help us spread the word.  There are so many women suffering in silence that could use this help and support.