EP16: Top 11 Red Flags to Catch in Your Fertility Journey

“You need to stop and fully serve, fully love, and fully energize yourself. Stop taking the blame and giving, giving, giving. Redirect and focus that energy back onto yourself.” 

- Episode 16 (28:30 - 28:53)

The actions, thoughts, and strategies that are actually holding you back from conception. 

This was the topic for my latest episode of the FU Project podcast. You can listen here.

Back before my two perfect children, I was so desperate to conceive that I disregarded many bright red flags flapping violently in my face. 

What was I thinking? What are you thinking? 

In hope of saving you some drama, I’ve listed the red flags that I consistently see women bypass in their fertility journey. They are the deal breakers often cleverly disguised as the best options for moving you forward, but could quite possibly be holding you back from motherhood. 

“Work like a crazy person but do everything possible for energy restoration. The best of the best.” - Episode 16 (38:50 -39:00)

Here are 11 red flags to be on the lookout for so you can maintain enough energy to safely reach your final destination.

  1. “Free” advice. I know what it’s like to be scrambling for answers. But please please please don’t just ask anyone for advice. It’ll cost you more than your wallet can spend and your mental sanity can handle. 

  2. “I don’t know… I was thinking of trying this.” Whenever you hear that from a doctor, RUN! Your fertility journey shouldn’t be a guessing game of what step to take next.

  3. The “Vegas” baby. Some doctors actually wait for a procedure to fail before they order simple tests. It’s crucial for you to be wary of the bets you place so to not gamble your money away. Protect and ensure your investment by looking into everything beforehand. 

  4. Misery loves company. What’s so wrong with wanting some support from others on their fertility journey? Only that bitching over why IVF sucks isn’t exactly helpful. Stay attentive to your own journey and not someone else’s. Then you can preserve your limited amount of resources to continue on in pride and confidence.

  5. “He’s just not that into me.” You may think your partner doesn’t love you enough to help navigate the sticky patches of your fertility journey. But the truth is they just don’t know how. Cut your partner some slack and work with a real expert to keep yourself moving.

  6. Comparing apples to kumquats. Your body is unique with a particular set of needs and fertility issues. Why try and compare your journey to someone else’s? There’s absolutely no point. 

  7. Please stop slapping yourself in the face. If you’re not getting anywhere, then what you’re doing isn’t working. Get out of your own way and surrender your fertility journey to someone who can actually help.

  8. Addicted to fears. At this point, failure might be all you know. You may have grown so acquainted with it that you expect it at every turn. Fear has become your default emotional response. Take control to disrupt the pattern and redirect your thoughts and actions to positive possibilities.

  9. The blame game. A miscarriage. Low egg reserve. This may be your current reality. But none of it is your fault. Yes, there is so much within your control but even more outside of it. You still absolutely 100% deserve to be a mother.

  10. There is no gas in the car. For any woman close to 40 thinking “Why me?”- it’s biology. You need to restore your energy with clean nutrition, self-care practices, and mindset work. It’s possible to reverse your biological age.

  11. The working girl. I can’t stand it when I hear a potential client say, “I don’t have time to do x, y, and z to get pregnant because of my job.” If you’re using this as an excuse, then something bigger is going on. I challenge you to put you, your needs, and your family first.

“You have to love yourself fully before you should bring in another being, another relationship, into your life. Especially a child.” 

- Episode 16 (26:48 -  27:02)

You can’t possibly make the journey into motherhood if you’re completely sucked dry. You need a sufficient amount of emotional, physical, and financial energy.

This week evaluate the areas of your life where you may be wasting your limited amount of resources. Look for any bright red flags flapping violently in your face and heed their warning. Remove any toxins such as discouraging support groups, unhelpful doctors, or negative thoughts. Overcome whatever is inhibiting you from fully loving yourself to move as swiftly as possible along your fertility journey towards motherhood.

With thanks & love,


How to get involved
If you would like more information about The FU Project and my mission to get you pregnant so much faster and smarter than I did, please check out my website.

If you liked this episode, be sure to subscribe and leave a quick review on iTunes. It would mean the world to hear your feedback and we’d love for you to help us spread the word.  There are so many women suffering in silence that could use this help and support.